Hello lovely readers, I hope your week has been as 'funny' as mine. It started on Monday with an interview for The Wombwell Rainbow, a poety blog written by Paul Brookes, (check it out). Then on Thursday we went to see Lee Pollard in his one man show, at the No7 pub in Barnsley. What a great venue for a bit of spoken word. In the vaults of the pub is a subterranean bar, called appropriately 'The Cellar' (very cavern like) and the acoustics were very good. Lee was a hoot with his Barnsley anecdotes and very cleverly written poems. And it was all so funny that our cheeks were hurting. On Saturday, David and I were off again on the 66 bus to Elsecar, where we met up with Ray Hearne and Matt Clegg for a bit of al fresco poetry. I must admit the audience was a bit sparse, but it was all good practice, and get to meet some other poets from the area. Tracy Day Dawson was there with her lovely poetry, and a rendering of Beowulf in old English dialect, it was a treat. The event was held at the Heritage Centre, and the day was fine, so all in all we had a really good few hours of jollity. Next week we will all be in the market place at Doncaster, mid-dayish.
Jane, Matt, Ray and Tracy
Jane and Ray Hearne
And today I'm taking it easy and trying to get my tummy back to normal after delicious fish and chips while we waited for the bus after a pint in Sheffield to round off the evening. I will be busy preparing for the launch of Higgs Bottom, over the next few days. David has got my new poetry collection up and running on Amazon, and almost completed publication of the same as a paperback. So, Scary Woman will be launched at the same event.
Scary or wot?
Scary Woman is a collection you won't want to miss - honestly!
So, lovely people, it is Sunday evening and I have tea to make before we settle down to the 9 o'clock drama on the BBC, World On Fire, so I'll say ta ta for now. Don't forget, if you will be anywhere near The Tap and Brew in Hoyland on Sunday 27 October, 4pm, pop along and join the fun at my book launch. And if you can't make it, take a look at the book here, it will make a unique Christmas present.
Hello dear reader, let me start by thanking you for following my blog, the stats are increasing and I know I have some lovely blogfans out there. That is so reassuring because I do spend many hours alone, either in my shed, writing, or playing the cello. Of course that is the path I have chosen and I wouldn't have it any other way, and when I do get to be in company I really enjoy that, too. So, thanks for joining me now and then.
This week has been particularly quiet because David has been away visiting our daughter. I met him in Sheffield, at Meadowhall, when he arrived back on the Megabus, yesterday morning. He looked like he's been to Katmandu, rucksack and all, but the only souvenir of his trip was his bedsheets which he'd stuffed in the rucksack ready to go into the washing machine. He did take me to 5 Guys for lunch though, where we shared a burger and chips, and while it was a good burger, I thought it overpriced at nearly £11 for a burger, chips and a large paper cup of coke.
Now, the big news is that I have a date for my book launch, Sunday 27 October. It is to be at the Tap and Brew in Hoyland, at 4p.m. David and I have been designing a poster all morning, and this is what we have come up with:
So, pop it in your diary if you are going to be anywhere near the Tap & Brew in Hoyland on Sunday 27 October. The Tap & Brew is a great little pub, with a good selection of real ales, and a fantastic selection of gin drinks. I'll be reading a short excerpt from Higgs Bottom, and introducing you to Sharpan the Rawskin, Reusable condoms, and a couple of unusual sonnets. It's all clean stuff though! I'm looking forward to going to see my mate, Lee Pollard on Thursday, 10 Oct, when he has a one-man show in Barnsley. I shall make a full report next week. And I've also got a slot in Elsecar, next Saturday, 12 Oct, at the Heritage Centre, somewhere between 11a.m. and 4p.m. That should be a fun event with Ray Hearne leading the show. What other news? Well, Ihave new boots:
They are very lovely, and keep me steady on my feet. Keeping up the image of Whacky Lady!
And I have kept away from the baking thing since my last disaster, eating bananas, and other such ready delights. Here is a poem I wrote this week:
Don’t Tell Me
I’m Too Old To Vote
Don’t tell me I can’t eat jelly for breakfast,
Don’t tell me what to wear, don’t tell me I’m past
My sell by date and Brexit’s not my affair,
Don’t tell me my brain is spongyfying at a rate of knots,
It’s not, it’s not, and if it is so what?
I’m a person of the planet; I’m not a microchip,
I’ve worked, I’ve procreated; I think I’ve done my bit,
And while there’s breath inside me I’m still a part of it,
So don’t tell me I’m too old to vote, I’m not the walking
dead,
I can reason, I’m still in the boat, and you know what Doris
said:
Don’t underestimate the silver haired, the ankle biting
short,
They can rise to hold positions such as: Judge, Supreme High
Court.
So don’t tell me I’m too daft to weigh up all the facts,
I can make a sound decision about parliamentary Acts,
Don’t take away my freedom; don’t take away my pride
Don’t tell me I’m too old when the fact is I’ve survived
Because I’m bloody canny, and I’ve worked to stay alive,
I’ve dodged the bullets, stood my ground, kept faith; I’ve ducked
and dived
And I’m not beyond enjoying this extraordinary ride.
Don’t say the old are a burden on today’s society,
You wouldn’t be so scathing of a gnarled and knobbly tree,
You’d say, look how magnificent those ancient branches are.
And you’d prop it up, and hug it, feed it tree-food caviar:
You’d say, there’s wisdom in that tree, think what it must
have seen,
You’d respect its age, look after it, sweep away its falling
leaves,
You’d make sure as it got older it was safe from harm,
Not look on it as a fruitless has-been, scored and scarred,
Don’t tell me you’re unhappy with the way I rock and roll,
Stick this inside your ballot box - I’m not too bloody old!
So there you have it, another week goes by in the life of Jane Sharp. I hope you will join me next week to see what I've been up to. Oh, I nearly forgot, here is a short excerpt from Higgs Bottom to wet your appetite:
Have a fun week dear reader, love you lots, bye for now,
...And right off it was! I thought I'd experiment with coconut flour, and whatever else I could find in the kitchen - butter, sugar, chocolate chips, almond milk. What could possibly go wrong? The worse that could happen would be rock buns, or some sort of scones, or even a crumble topping. But no. Whatever it was that came out of the oven, it was certainly not in any way edible. Yet another Birdwell bake off failure. I don't know why I bother. It's a good job there's and Aldi supermarket nearby, with Belgian Chocolate Pudding. And that is my cue for a poem I wrote this week. It's a bit of erotic for a rainy day.
I'm telling you now, when you get to my age, and energy levels are low, and libido is on the wane, and it's raining, there's nothing quite like Aldi's Hot, Dark Belgian Chocolate Pudding:
So, I'm not applying for the Great British Bake Off this year! But I am improving my cello playing, and I am busy with book promotion - Higgs Bottom. And I am putting a small poetry collection together, so never mind about my non culinary skills.
Here is a date for your diary, 27 October, at the Brew and Tap, in Hoyland where I shall be hosting a little do in aid of launching the book. Of course you are all invited - watch this space for details of timings etc a bit nearer the time.
Now, it's Sunday lunchtime in the Sharp house, coming up 2 p.m. so I'll say ta ta for now. It's raining in Birdwell, not at all clement, and we have the central heating on. Goodness! Winter is on the way. Still I can make soup, in fact I'm pretty good at that, there is always a bright side to things. Now, what shall it be, Heinz Tomato...
Have a lovely Sunday, dear reader, and a productive week. I'll be back next Sunday with an update of my week, let's hope there are exciting things to report.
